Sisters!

Kaci, Kori and I are close. We always have been. However we are VERY different. We were definitely born to this earth with our own personalities, talents, strengths and weaknesses. I guess this is the same in most families...maybe it helps to balance family life, shake things up a bit, keep parents on their toes. Although we are different we compliment each other. We make each other better.

I was the "rebellious" child. I was the one who was always a little off somehow. A little boy-crazy and forward. I spoke my mind, I was confident, I did not let people push me around and I knew what I wanted...and made sure I got it. I have always had strong opinions and for the most part they are right on. I had a strong, aggressive personality and my mom always allowed me to be exactly who I wanted even when it made her nervous. I am the affectionate one yet the least emotional. I use to be the super funny sister and fun to around. However through life I have become a little self-centered. I think the first step is to admit our faults right?

Kori is the smart sister. She is brilliant. She is hard working, determined, motivated and can accomplish anything she puts her mind to. She is the rule follower. It is rare that Kori makes a bad decision. She puts A LOT of thought into EVERYTHING she does. She is mature. She is STRONG.  Kori is also the most talented sister. Anything she wanted to learn or try she could automatically do and do WELL. Kori is the most selfless and this makes her the BEST mom as well. Her entire world revolves around her children and I don't think she has spent a cent on herself in 17 years. Everything she does, she does for those three kids. Three AMAZING KIDS!

Kaci is the cute sister. She has the perfect smile. Kaci is fashionable and turns heads wherever she goes. She is young at heart and so FUN...she has taken over as the funniest sister. Kaci has a knack for writing...as you will see below...she really should be the one writing this blog. Kaci is also the dramatic sister...with 7 children she really can't help it. But to counter the drama Kaci is the most "in-tune" sister. This is the thing I admire (and envy) most about her. Her relationship with The Lord is indescribable. She feels the spirit so strongly and follows promptings without hesitation. Because of this connection with our Savior I have always thought that she sees life in a way that most people don't dare to see it. 

Kaci recently posted on her personal blog her thoughts about this situation our family is dealing with. I think this post is too PERFECT not to share.  

Our Life Story

A couple of years ago, as I was struggling with the effects of my PTSD following my divorce a friend of mine told me about a lady in Phoenix who was doing some cutting edge therapy.  She had been having some great results with her clients at being able to undo in 2-3 sessions what was taking counselors a year to accomplish.

I didn't have the patience or the fundage to spend a year in therapy. so we traveled to Arizona over Spring Break with our little Peyton and our little unborn KK and I saw her.  She truly was amazing.  And I know she helped me.  She was LDS, but I'd call her "edgy"  and some of the things she said were doctrinal and some were a bit left wing.  But, one thing she said to me, I have never forgotten and it's brought me a lot of peace over the years.

***********WARNING***********

The following is just a thought.  I am NOT suggesting this is doctrine or gospel.  PLEASE don't message me and tell me how wrong I am or how this goes against principles.  It is just a "what if".  I am a "what ifer"  I always have been.  This is merely a what if....  or an I wonder....  purely meant for entertainment.  I don't think there are vampires roaming the earth, but it still didn't stop me from joining "Team Edward".  So, proceed with that spirit in mind.

She suggested that we all lived together before we came to Earth.  And a plan was presented to us to come to earth and to be tried and tested.  And she said "what if we wrote our own life story?"  What if from a variety of life scenarios, we sat down with a pen and paper and wrote what our journey would look like?  I imagine it looked like this

Dear Father,
     Thank you for allowing me to go to Earth.
I would like to experience the following while I am there...
Patience.  To do this I will have too many children for me to handle.  And I will not beat them.

Long-suffering.  The above mentioned children will offer this to me as well.  And I will try and stick it out with them until they are all 18.

Forgiveness.  I will encounter over and over, those people who will act absurdly and behave inappropriately and make lousy decisions.  And I will forgive.

Acne.  I will be willing to battle this well beyond my teenage years.

Illness.  I don't want to learn too much about this.  I will bout the occasional cold and I might be willing to have uncontrollable diarrhea if I have to, but that is all that I will be able to handle.  Oh, okay... fine.  I can be dizzy too from time to time if you want to give me that challenge.

I also have just learned that my husband didn't get his EARTH VISA in time and won't be born until I am nearly 10 earth years old.  This delay is disappointing.  He and I have come up with a plan for this, we hope that it will work.  Please help us find each other.  Because it will seem like an unaccomplishable situation at the time and I might not be brave enough to go forward as I am going through it, but I will if you will send me encouragement and tell me to "stay the course."

And I went on and on.....

I think our loving Heavenly Father said "okay, this is a good life plan for you since you are kinda wimpy and not all that interested in challenging yourself.  I'll sign off on it.  You need to know that I cannot intervene and deny you of these things you've requested to experience.  Even though I will want to.  Or you will not return to me as accomplished and strong and educated as you desire yourself to be.  I will send you support and comfort along the way.  Know that I am always there and I will send you support through your family and friends too.  But, you must do the work and learn the lessons.  Some of them OVER and OVER because you are not going to be that bright...  another battle that you chose to deal with here in section 12.6 of your life plan."

And I signed it and here I am on Earth living it.

And then there was Kori........

I KNOW that she was all...   "what is a super hard thing that I can put myself through so that I can become this outrageously amazing person and not only be viewed as strong and brave, but tough as nails and quietly valiant seeking no reward or praise for myself ever?   Hmmmmmmmmm......
It has to be pretty hard mentally as well as physically challenging to get the results that I am after and I will battle through it like a champ and comfort everyone around me who is falling apart.   Hmmmmmmmmm.......  Yeah, I'll do cancer.....  in my brain....."

And He said  "okay, I'll sign off on it".

What a hard thing this is for our family to be dealing with.  We have always been so close.  And through a couple of life experiences, I am disappointed to say that I have come to learn that my horrifying way of dealing with hard things is to withdraw.  I really just want to run away from this.  I am so disgusted with myself.  It appears I have a lot to learn too.

Our hearts our broken.  But, we have to be comforted in knowing that there IS a plan.  Whether we were in on the planning or not.  And we have to trust and have faith that what is meant to happen will happen for a wise and glorious purpose that we may or may not understand.  And as hard as it will be to watch her go through this....  we cannot help but know that she is the most equipped to handle something this hard.  She hasn't ever backed down from a challenge in her life.  And somehow, for me at least, thinking that we go through things in this life, especially hard things, just might be because we were at some point on board with accepting the challenge rather than having the thought that horrible things are just handed to us.  Maybe it's my need to feel that I am in control, when maybe I really am not.  I don't know.

I will write about her prognosis as it becomes available to us.

Please continue to have Kori in your hearts and thoughts and prayers.  We love her more than words can express. 

I cannot express how grateful I am to be the sister of these two incredible women. If we did in fact choose our life story as Kaci suggests...I will thank my Heavenly Father daily for "signing off" on my choice to go through life with Kaci and Kori by my side.