Post-OP Photos

Just a couple pictures of Kori Post-Op. 

I told you that us Little girls can rock the turban look! Even with a huge black eye.

Turban is off today.

That is one SERIOUS incision!

We sure LOVE this girl. We miss her! 

Sisters!

Kaci, Kori and I are close. We always have been. However we are VERY different. We were definitely born to this earth with our own personalities, talents, strengths and weaknesses. I guess this is the same in most families...maybe it helps to balance family life, shake things up a bit, keep parents on their toes. Although we are different we compliment each other. We make each other better.

I was the "rebellious" child. I was the one who was always a little off somehow. A little boy-crazy and forward. I spoke my mind, I was confident, I did not let people push me around and I knew what I wanted...and made sure I got it. I have always had strong opinions and for the most part they are right on. I had a strong, aggressive personality and my mom always allowed me to be exactly who I wanted even when it made her nervous. I am the affectionate one yet the least emotional. I use to be the super funny sister and fun to around. However through life I have become a little self-centered. I think the first step is to admit our faults right?

Kori is the smart sister. She is brilliant. She is hard working, determined, motivated and can accomplish anything she puts her mind to. She is the rule follower. It is rare that Kori makes a bad decision. She puts A LOT of thought into EVERYTHING she does. She is mature. She is STRONG.  Kori is also the most talented sister. Anything she wanted to learn or try she could automatically do and do WELL. Kori is the most selfless and this makes her the BEST mom as well. Her entire world revolves around her children and I don't think she has spent a cent on herself in 17 years. Everything she does, she does for those three kids. Three AMAZING KIDS!

Kaci is the cute sister. She has the perfect smile. Kaci is fashionable and turns heads wherever she goes. She is young at heart and so FUN...she has taken over as the funniest sister. Kaci has a knack for writing...as you will see below...she really should be the one writing this blog. Kaci is also the dramatic sister...with 7 children she really can't help it. But to counter the drama Kaci is the most "in-tune" sister. This is the thing I admire (and envy) most about her. Her relationship with The Lord is indescribable. She feels the spirit so strongly and follows promptings without hesitation. Because of this connection with our Savior I have always thought that she sees life in a way that most people don't dare to see it. 

Kaci recently posted on her personal blog her thoughts about this situation our family is dealing with. I think this post is too PERFECT not to share.  

Our Life Story

A couple of years ago, as I was struggling with the effects of my PTSD following my divorce a friend of mine told me about a lady in Phoenix who was doing some cutting edge therapy.  She had been having some great results with her clients at being able to undo in 2-3 sessions what was taking counselors a year to accomplish.

I didn't have the patience or the fundage to spend a year in therapy. so we traveled to Arizona over Spring Break with our little Peyton and our little unborn KK and I saw her.  She truly was amazing.  And I know she helped me.  She was LDS, but I'd call her "edgy"  and some of the things she said were doctrinal and some were a bit left wing.  But, one thing she said to me, I have never forgotten and it's brought me a lot of peace over the years.

***********WARNING***********

The following is just a thought.  I am NOT suggesting this is doctrine or gospel.  PLEASE don't message me and tell me how wrong I am or how this goes against principles.  It is just a "what if".  I am a "what ifer"  I always have been.  This is merely a what if....  or an I wonder....  purely meant for entertainment.  I don't think there are vampires roaming the earth, but it still didn't stop me from joining "Team Edward".  So, proceed with that spirit in mind.

She suggested that we all lived together before we came to Earth.  And a plan was presented to us to come to earth and to be tried and tested.  And she said "what if we wrote our own life story?"  What if from a variety of life scenarios, we sat down with a pen and paper and wrote what our journey would look like?  I imagine it looked like this

Dear Father,
     Thank you for allowing me to go to Earth.
I would like to experience the following while I am there...
Patience.  To do this I will have too many children for me to handle.  And I will not beat them.

Long-suffering.  The above mentioned children will offer this to me as well.  And I will try and stick it out with them until they are all 18.

Forgiveness.  I will encounter over and over, those people who will act absurdly and behave inappropriately and make lousy decisions.  And I will forgive.

Acne.  I will be willing to battle this well beyond my teenage years.

Illness.  I don't want to learn too much about this.  I will bout the occasional cold and I might be willing to have uncontrollable diarrhea if I have to, but that is all that I will be able to handle.  Oh, okay... fine.  I can be dizzy too from time to time if you want to give me that challenge.

I also have just learned that my husband didn't get his EARTH VISA in time and won't be born until I am nearly 10 earth years old.  This delay is disappointing.  He and I have come up with a plan for this, we hope that it will work.  Please help us find each other.  Because it will seem like an unaccomplishable situation at the time and I might not be brave enough to go forward as I am going through it, but I will if you will send me encouragement and tell me to "stay the course."

And I went on and on.....

I think our loving Heavenly Father said "okay, this is a good life plan for you since you are kinda wimpy and not all that interested in challenging yourself.  I'll sign off on it.  You need to know that I cannot intervene and deny you of these things you've requested to experience.  Even though I will want to.  Or you will not return to me as accomplished and strong and educated as you desire yourself to be.  I will send you support and comfort along the way.  Know that I am always there and I will send you support through your family and friends too.  But, you must do the work and learn the lessons.  Some of them OVER and OVER because you are not going to be that bright...  another battle that you chose to deal with here in section 12.6 of your life plan."

And I signed it and here I am on Earth living it.

And then there was Kori........

I KNOW that she was all...   "what is a super hard thing that I can put myself through so that I can become this outrageously amazing person and not only be viewed as strong and brave, but tough as nails and quietly valiant seeking no reward or praise for myself ever?   Hmmmmmmmmm......
It has to be pretty hard mentally as well as physically challenging to get the results that I am after and I will battle through it like a champ and comfort everyone around me who is falling apart.   Hmmmmmmmmm.......  Yeah, I'll do cancer.....  in my brain....."

And He said  "okay, I'll sign off on it".

What a hard thing this is for our family to be dealing with.  We have always been so close.  And through a couple of life experiences, I am disappointed to say that I have come to learn that my horrifying way of dealing with hard things is to withdraw.  I really just want to run away from this.  I am so disgusted with myself.  It appears I have a lot to learn too.

Our hearts our broken.  But, we have to be comforted in knowing that there IS a plan.  Whether we were in on the planning or not.  And we have to trust and have faith that what is meant to happen will happen for a wise and glorious purpose that we may or may not understand.  And as hard as it will be to watch her go through this....  we cannot help but know that she is the most equipped to handle something this hard.  She hasn't ever backed down from a challenge in her life.  And somehow, for me at least, thinking that we go through things in this life, especially hard things, just might be because we were at some point on board with accepting the challenge rather than having the thought that horrible things are just handed to us.  Maybe it's my need to feel that I am in control, when maybe I really am not.  I don't know.

I will write about her prognosis as it becomes available to us.

Please continue to have Kori in your hearts and thoughts and prayers.  We love her more than words can express. 

I cannot express how grateful I am to be the sister of these two incredible women. If we did in fact choose our life story as Kaci suggests...I will thank my Heavenly Father daily for "signing off" on my choice to go through life with Kaci and Kori by my side. 

A Much BETTER update!

Today has been ROUGH! Really rough.

However Kori (and the others) were able to meet with Dr. Rao this afternoon and were given some good news, extra hope and encouragement.

After another MRI it appears that Dr. Rao was able to remove more of the tumor than we previously thought. He removed 95-98% of that blasted thing. Which means that the target area for treatment is much smaller. He told her NOT to pay attention to statistics. She is young, healthy and in very good shape...all of these factors work in her favor. He said he expects her to respond very well to treatment...and be with us for many years.

Now we know this doesn't mean we are out of the wood by any means...BUT we know Kori...we know she will fight as hard as she can. She will remain confident, determined and we know her overly competitive nature will benefit her this time.

Kori is having a pretty hard day. She is in a lot of pain which they are managing, she has a black eye that is swollen shut and she is pretty weak on her left side. ALL things we were expecting and that Dr. Rao warned us of ahead of time.

As mom said..."This will be a marathon and we are only at the starting line".

But we are starting this race with hearts and minds full of faith and hope!

The Update we DID NOT want!

I apologize for the late update. We know so many of you are standing by waiting, hoping, praying just like we had been doing ALL day yesterday.

Unfortunately we got an update that we had NOT HOPED FOR. Many family members, especially Kori's sweet kiddos needed to hear first hand instead of reading it on a blog post so I delayed until I was given the "ok". Which I have now been given.

Kori's tumor IS malignant.

Our family is heartbroken, devastated, shocked...to say the least...however still hopeful and full of faith.

Dr Rao was able to remove 80% of the tumor yesterday. The rest will need to be treated with radiation and chemotherapy when she returns home. We are not sure when that will be yet. Hopefully in a week or so.

Russ, mom and dad were able to visit with her a bit last night.

Mom said she was "tired but coherent. She was so sweet".

As of last night...my last update Kori still does not know the outcome of surgery. Although Kaci said "I am sure the spirit told her long ago and has prepared her for this".

I believe this is the case.

Please continue to pray for Kori...she will need your prayers more than ever now!...as will the rest of us!

Second Verse SAME as the First!

Unfortunately I have nothing new to report. We got another update however is was the same as our first update. 

She is doing good and she is still stable.

But in the words of Gary Gnu from the blessed Great Space Coaster...

More later...we hope!

First Update...

Our first update came at 10:22 am (9:22 Utah time). Her incision was made at 8:35 am. Everything is going well. She is stable.

Not much info...but good info...we will take it!

Today is the day!!

Today is SURGERY DAY! 

Although we have been anxiously awaiting surgery day now that it is here I'm not sure I am too thrilled about it. Surgery regardless is a scary thing. Brain surgery is FRIGHTENING!...to say the least!

Last night mom and Dad, Kori and Russ went to Olive Garden for the last dinner before the surgery and fast began.

If I know my sister she ordered the salad without dressing, the bread without the butter and garlic salt and the HEALTHIEST soup.

Last night Kori also had an HOUR LONG MRI! Bless her heart! As if she hasn't been through enough this week.

But see the smile on her face! 

AMAZING!

She arrived at MD Anderson at 5:15 am Texas time.

They began prepping her for surgery!

More pokes, more needles, more bruises.

I am guessing that "YES" means..."This is the side we are supposed to open up". 

You know safety first of course!

When you do three of these babies a day, at least, you may tend to get patients mixed up. We would hate for them to remove a limb or something by accident!

Last shot before they took her back.

She is now in surgery.

Dr. Roa said her tumor is the shape of an "upside down bowling pin" and that it is about the size of 3 golf balls!

Estimated time of surgery 8 hours!

Tumor Humor and a Little Update...

As I said previously sometimes we have to handle difficult situations with a sense of humor or else fear takes over. So here is a little Tumor Humor...

 For those who may think this is inappropriate...

I think Kori has had 5+ MRI's so far...many more to come.

At least she won't lose her loose change!

 Maybe it should say sister's??...or even OLDER sister?? It most definitely doesn't relate to ME. However some of you reading this blog may disagree.

This is my favorite!!

This is Kori's tumor again...a close up view.

Kori would like to give this beast a name...so be creative and comment below with your ideas.

The person who comes up with the best name may win a prize...Is this a game show??

OK...now for the latest update...

Today Kori and Russ moved into what will be their (mostly Russ) home for the next while (time to be determined).

Bishop Cash recommended "Faith House". Housing for medical patients run by the Lutheran Church.

It is cute, clean, has a TV in each room as well as laundry facilities. They charge a very nominal daily fee. A perfect place for them to be together until surgery.

Kori will report to the hospital at 5:30 am on Tuesday morning to be prepped for surgery. Dr Rao is meeting with her at 6:45 and surgery is scheduled for 7:00.

I will do my best to keep everyone updated on Tuesday.

Again...thank you for your support and love!

She is in GOOD hands

Here is just one corner of the 40 blocks of the MD Anderson Cancer Center!

Kori FINALLY met with Dr Rao and Mom has fallen in LOVE...I think Russ has too.
Mom said he listened and answered every question they had no matter how insignificant it may have been. He was confident, but not cocky.
Mom asked him if he had seen anything like this tumor before and he said...
"Oh of course. This is what I do." "This isn't our first rodeo".
As mom thanked him for being a blessing in our lives he leaned in and said to her "I am going to take good care of her".
Russ, mom and dad feel like she is in GOOD HANDS!

 Here she is showing off all her "tracks" up her arms.
She had a lot of tests taken.

Yesterday her ward all got together for a fast and group prayer in her behalf.
I felt so overwhelmed with gratitude when I saw this picture.
Our family is humbled by the amount of people praying Kori and all of us.
A special thank you to her ward family for also taking good care of her.
We know the Hyde family is in GOOD HANDS!

I have been reading a lot of articles, talks from the Prophets and apostles these last few days...looking to be strengthen, find encouragement and faith through this trail we are all facing. 

We all seem to be doing pretty well under the circumstances. Which I am thankful for. 

 But today I read an article that quoted a young man who said

"Tackle your BIGGEST trails with your BIGGEST smiles"

This was a perfect description of how Kori is dealing with all of this mess.

She is upbeat, cheerful, positive and even HAPPY! I have not once heard her complain, moan, groan, cry, wail, scream...which are all the things I believe I would be doing. she is AMAZING! She is so strong and above all faithful.

I am eternally grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and his son Jesus Christ who are watching over her. I know she feels their love daily. I am grateful for the Holy Ghost who comforts us in times of trials and allows us to continue to smile through hard times. I am grateful for my testimony that I know our Savior LIVES!
I am GRATEFUL that I know she is in GOOD HANDS...HIS HANDS!

Meet Kori's tumor...

Now I am not a neurologist by any means and I may even be looking at the WRONG thing in this scan but THAT does NOT look like a golf ball to me??

But what do I know?

Meet Kori's tumor...

Kori was scheduled to meet with Dr Rao at 7:30 this morning...

 ...and after much stress they made it ON TIME!!
(not sure who Kaci is talking about in that text on Dad's phone...hope it isn't any of you :) )

Russ just sent me a text that read 

"The Dr. was INCREDIBLE! The neatest guy. We think we are going to get a dog now and name him Ganesh (the Dr's Name)...it goes with our "G" theme.

After Kori has all her tests complete I will post an update on all the NEW news!

Houston or BUST...

They are officially on their way to Houston!!

This airplane ride is what I have been most concerned about. Kori doesn't always handle flying very well. She gets headaches, nausea, dizzy etc...hummmm that sounds familiar. 

Maybe flying was NEVER the problem. 

I guess only time will tell.

UPDATE:

She made is safe and sound to Houston.
Mom and Dad met she and Russ at the airport.
She seems pretty good in this picture. Russ said she did well on the flight!
PHEEEEW!

Next...consult with the Dr. tomorrow morning and a TON of tests!

What Did I Tell YOU!...

She has not even been home for 24 hours and she is already out of the house at Garrett's ball game. 

Tumor, walker and all. 

It does make a nice foot rest. I may consider getting myself one. However it could use a few accessories don't ya think. Lights, garland, stickers, even some flowers would be nice. If I could just get my hands on that thing!!

Sometimes I think Kori is selfless to a fault. Sometimes I wish she would stop taking such good care of everyone else and take some time for herself. I am not sure she would know what to do with time alone to pamper herself. 

But her children are her pride and joy. Her day would not feel complete if she wasn't helping them to learn, to grow, to become amazing people...If she wasn't in the stands cheering them on, or holding batting practice in the backyard.

Kaci and I always say that Kori is the BEST mom...this is just proof. 

There is NOWHERE she would rather be. 

YOU-Caring!

We have been asked by many friends and family to start up a donation account for Kori. We feel a little uncomfortable about this...maybe we are proud? ...but I was told recently that "when people want to help you need to allow them the chance to serve". So with humble hearts we have started a You-Caring account in Kori's name.
Below is the link:

http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/prayers-for-koko/341043

Please know that your prayers are enough. The attention Kori is getting is making her head swell...oh wait...that's the tumor! Seriously though...she is loving every minute of the phone calls, texts, visits, flowers etc. I know if she is eternally grateful to each of you...as the rest of her family is too.

She is Going HOME

Kori has been discharged from the hospital and is going home.

Houston has confirmed her appointment for Friday morning. She and Russ will be flying there on Thursday.

Her surgery will not be Friday as fas as I know. They have asked that she be admitted to the hospital for a couple of days for observation first. 

One step closer...baby steps.

Although we (her family) aren't thrilled that she is going home, we are happy that she will have time alone with Russ and the kids before she leaves for Houston.

We just know her too well...she will want to do laundry, go to ball games, take care of herself etc. Miss Independent!

I am certain Nance/Mom will be there to keep her in bed and cater to her every need!

Today we are OVERWHELMED with gratitude by the outpouring of love we have felt. So many friends have come forward offering places to sleep in Houston, airline tickets, food beyond measure and prayers GALORE! The blessings are too many to count!

We feel our Heavenly Father's love through each of you. We are encircled in his arms and know he is watching over Kori and our family. 

Thank you just doesn't cover it...but...THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Today's Plan...NO Falls

Today hasn't been the best day. 

Although she is all showered and looking good Kori's headache is back and she is throwing up again...bacon of all things.

Last night she had another fall. Her brain just isn't communicating to her legs that they need to actually change directions as she walks. If she was taking a sobriety test she'd pass with flying colors. Straight lines are her thing. It's the turns she is struggling with. 

So Today's Plan:

Control Headache

Control Nausea

NO FALLS

Today she had some extra special visitors.

My moms dearest life long friends...Kris Horton and Sherrie Pendleton

Kris stopped in on her way up north...baring gifts.

A ceramic rock with the word SMILE written on the front of it. On the back the scripture 2 Nephi 9:39 

To be Spiritually Minded Is Life Eternal

Love THIS!! What a precious reminder of what is truly important.

Sherrie has been helping mom with chores the last few days...washing baseball uniforms and such.

These beautiful ladies (and their families) have been such a blessing in the lives of the Little family. It is hard to think back and recall a memory that doesn't have a member of the Pendleton or Horton family in it. We are so thankful for them and ALL their support and love through the years.

We are hopeful that we will secure a surgery date tomorrow. 

I will keep you posted.

I no longer C U

Kori has been moved from the ICU into a room with a SHOWER!! Hooray! 

The first time I went to visit her on Thursday her biggest concern was that she was going to get "stinky'. "I know what patients smell like" she said "I don't want to stink." She was also so worried that her hair was going to get greasy that she text the cosmetology crew (Quincey and Morgan - Kaci's daughters) at 4:30 am to see if they would come over and style her hair in a NON-Grease up-do. 

So I am sure she is THRILLED to be clean, fresh and de-greased.

My mom posted a small update on her comment yesterday but for those of you who may have missed it...

Kori's surgery is "tentatively" set for Friday April 24th. Which just so happens to be her son Grant's 15th birthday. So of course Kori can think of nothing else but how to plan and host a party amidst brain surgery?

She must have forgotten that her younger (semi-less brilliant) sister spent $60,000 on an overpriced education at BYU to learn to plan parties? Oh Recreation Management...you really are the BEST!

I am ON IT!

The doctor in Houston requested some additional scans of Kori's chest and abdomen. They came back CLEAN! No signs of any other blasted tumors floatin around in her!

We consider this VERY positive news and are remaining optimistic.

Thank you for your continued prayers on our behalf.

"It's not a tuma" ...Oh wait!

We have a had a few requests for a blog to keep everyone updated on Kori's status, as slow going as it may be. So here you go! 

Prayers For KoKo by The littlest Little.

Kori had been having headaches for a few months but us Little's who ALWAYS have headaches just bushed it to the side, paying little to no attention. "Take 2 Aleeve" I said, "wash it down with a little caffine...that's the cure for any headache". As they became more frequent and more severe we just assumed that she must have Chiari Malformation like the rest of us. However they continued to get worse, lasting days at a time and then the vomiting began. Now those of you who know Kori well, know that she throws up with a cold, she throws up if she bends down too fast...heck she throws up with a hang nail...let's just say SHE'S a PUKER!

So again this was something we paid no attention to. 

Last week after being sick for a couple days she started noticing her body wasn't quite working as well as it should. She said she felt like she was walking around with swim flippers on. This of course was NOT normal and so she reluctantly went to InstaCare on Wednesday April 15th, 2015.

To make a long story shorter InstaCare sent her to the ER, she had a CT scan and turns out our sweet sister Kori has a brain tumor on her right frontal lobe, the size of a golf ball. 

She just couldn't have Chiari like the rest of us...she is ALWAYS having to one up everyone!

I found out via text...which said "Kori has a brain tumor. We are headed to the ER now. Mom" 

Ummm..."What the HELL"? was my reaction...OF COURSE!

Kori has been in ICU since last Wednesday awaiting surgery. We were hoping that the surgery would be scheduled for today, Saturday. However after further CT Scans on Thursday her neurologist ranked the difficulty of the surgery a 99 out of 100. Apparently the tumor has sever blood vessels growing through it and branching out in many directions.These blood vessels are supplying the blood to the left side of her brain. He has recommended that she be transported to MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston Texas. One of the BEST hospitals in the country with doctors who preform procedures like this one all day every day!

So as it sits right now we are waiting to hear from the Dr. in Houston to schedule surgery.

Kori is in good spirits. She is BY FAR the only one in control. She is so strong and brave. Heavenly Father knows that she is the ONLY Little girl who could handle this situation.

She is even allowing those of us (me) who don't know how to appropriately handle stressful situations to make jokes at her expense.

She has had SO MANY visitors, phone calls, texts, letters etc. I don't think she has ever felt so loved.

THANK YOU to all of you who are sending your prayers, good thoughts and love our way. Our family...most of all KORI...feel of your strength, support and love.