Monday, Wednesday and Friday with Kori ( from Kami and a lot less dramatic)

As you already know, from Kaci's last post, Mom and Dad flew the coop and left Kac and I in charge of Kor for the week. 

Because I have the "cushy" job, more flexible schedule, I was asked to care for Kori everyday but Tuesday. 

Kori has therapy Monday, Wednesday and Friday...so that meant therapy time was up to me!

I, like Kaci, was a little nervous before the week started.  However Mom called 32 times before she left town and texted about 63 times to give me all the facts. She told me the same information 12 different ways so I was set on where to be, how to get there and what to do once I got there. But I was unsure what to expect from Kori. How would she act? Would she cry? Would she be embarrassed when I helped her to the bathroom? Would I be able to help her walk without letting her fall? Would I get mad if people stared at her? Would I still find that the Kori I know is still inside somewhere? 

Just nervous in general.

But like Kaci, once Monday morning came and I walked into The Hyde home everything was just fine, great even!

Kori talked, she smiled, she stood with little help and walked with even less help. She is a pro and I watched in amazement at the strength my brave sister has.

Kori has always been extraordinary but now she is a miracle.

I tied her shoes, put on her hat (which she said she HAD to wear or mom would get mad at me) and we were off.

The first day of therapy for the week Kim decided to try something new. Actually EVERYTHING he did that day was new to her.

Kori road a stationary bike. Which I think she enjoyed. She smiled a lot and looked like a natural.

 She did the leg press and even showed off a bit using only her left leg.

 Then she moved to the "other machine"...I don't know what you call it.

This one was a little hard for her. 

These exercises continued throughout the week and she worked so hard at each of them. Both of her therapists kept telling her that "today was her best day yet". I would like to think it was because her little sister was there cheering her on...but I can't take credit...it was ALL her!

All the while Mom texted me. I swear I haven't heard from the woman since April 15th and I couldn't get her to stop texting me. I had everything under control. I am a smart, capable woman after all.

Mom text to make sure I got there on time and safely. She text to see which therapist Kori saw first. Mom text to see what hat Kori wore...and then after seeing a picture she text to tell me to pull the hat back off Kori's forehead. She text to give me all the details about each therapist. How many kids they had, where they grew up, which ones were her favorites.

She text to talk about the weather. 

PHEEEEW! Even I was exhausted by the end of therapy.

All week Kori kept making this funny face, during her exercises or when the therapist would say something she didn't like. I couldn't quite make it out but each time I would turn my head and laugh.

Finally when she made it at Richard he said, "now that is a concerned face" and she replied, "NOPE it is an annoyed face!" 

This truth-telling-Kori is someone new to me and I think I like her!

  

On Wednesday I asked if Kori wanted to put her hat on before we left for therapy, again she said "if I don't mom will be mad at you." So I said " who the HELL cares." So she chose NOT to wear her hat and I didn't have to get mad at a single person for staring. Most were so kind and I saw the heartbreak they felt for her...not pity...but genuine sadness.  But I didn't take any pictures so there would be NO PROOF.

The rest of the week was more of the same...pretty much uneventful. Until Kaci came into the picture and all hell broke loose! 

Kori and I had some good conversations, she was upbeat and never shed a tear. She laughed and told some great stories. 

There were a couple funny and embarrassing things that happened that we giggled about. I don't think I will share those here. I will save those memories for Kori and I.

All in all I LOVED my time with Kori this last week. I am even feeling quite sad that I don't get to go spend time with her today.
It was hard watching my sister struggle through simple everyday tasks. It was hard to watch her think through every single movement of her body, trying so hard to get her brain to understand. It was heartbreaking watching her exercise through pain and discomfort. But it was also inspiring.
She is inspiring!

My Day With Kori-- Kaci's Perspective (and I'm a little dramatic)

My mom and dad booked a trip to Maui last year at this exact same time.  They had no idea when they were booking, that in one year, their life would be totally turned upside down.   Or, of course, they NEVER would have booked it.  When things started happening to Kori, they knew that they were probably going to have to cancel the trip, but as the time to cancel drew nearer,  Kori was making great improvements and it started to appear that they just might be able to go.

They deserved a vacation more than any parents on Earth and truthfully, taking a break would not only be good for them, but for Kori as well.  Mom and Dad would be able to get re-energized and re-charged and Kori would appreciate them more after being taken care of by amateurs.

Mom worked hard to arrange for Kori to have caretakers every day that they would be gone.

Kami and I both work full time.  But, Kami, who has a pretty cushy job, volunteered to take 3 1/2 days (which included all therapy days).  And I volunteered to take Tuesday (because my job is not that cushy) and (I am super wimpy) and (I am frightened of hard things) and (I am not that confident in my abilities).

Before Kori got sick, she was known for being a better listener than a talker.  If we all got together, she would sit and listen to Kami and I with our non-stop talking and flamboyant story telling and we would be expressing our STRONG opinions about topics such as our distain for visiting teaching or most recent run in with a PTA president or whatever mess we'd currently found ourselves in and she  would just listen and then all of the sudden she would speak and she would say one sentence and shower down her wisdom upon us and put us back into place with her well thought out words and her strong spirit.

But now, Kori is very different.  Her voice is different, her personality is different,  her speech is different.  She still sits and listens, but she doesn't speak very much anymore.  And that's okay, she can be quiet if she wants to.

So knowing this, I planned to sit quietly all day and work intently on some work projects I'd been putting off.  And I stopped and got a book at the library by Dr. Phil to read in hopes of fixing all of my personality disorders all in one day.

I arrived at her house at 9:30 with yogurt and granola and bananas and blueberries in tow.  I was going to whip us up a lovely breakfast.  But, she was dozing on the couch and said that she wasn't hungry.  So, I made myself a big, huge bowl.  And it was so quiet at her house and I was crunching that granola...  and I was feeling so badly that I had made such a large bowl and I was going to have to crunch and crunch and crunch.  While she tried to sleep.

And then all of the sudden, she spoke.

"What's new with you?"  she asked.

And her voice sounded the same.... like I remembered.  And oh my gosh, I got so excited and I started telling her all about every one.  Quincey's car accident, Peyton's first day of school, this and that.

And she kept the conversation going and told me about this family in her ward and that man at Russ' work and we talked like we used to and she told me some SUPER funny stories about mom....  About how she makes Kori walk unassisted and she walks backwards ahead of her and she claps in her face like she is a 2 year old and tells her that she has made 100% improvements since yesterday and Kori says.....  "no improvements have been made, but every.... single.... day..... I.... am.....100%...... better!!!!"

And we cracked up, like a lot.  And I was so happy.

She told me that she had someone coming over at 1:00 to do a procedure on her and I was excited because that was going to work out perfectly because I had to run Peyton to school at 12:30 and I'd stop and pick up some lunch at Chick fil A on my way back and get back in time for her friend to come.

We talked until I had to leave and I asked her if she needed help to the bathroom before I left, but she said no.

I arrived back at her house at 1:00 and she was sitting up on the couch and she had panic on her face.

"I need to get to the bathroom quick."

"OH MY GOSH, KORI....  I am so sorry"  I said,  and I put my purse down and ran to the couch.

Only,  I am not very skilled....  and (in my defense)  I'd thrown my back out over the weekend and so I was most definitely not at my best,  and it took me 4 times of REALLY trying to get her up.  And she was probably hating me with all of her heart by the time we started heading to the bathroom.  And I was walking wrong and not really helping her that much and I stepped on her foot twice and nearly tripped her three times and she kept saying sorry to ME like it was her fault....

(I am such a loser).

Anyway,  I finally got her to the bathroom and she told me I could wait outside.

I paced by the door waiting for her to be ready for me again.

Finally,  she said she was finished and I went in and got her and we started back to the couch.

I said  "Where is your friend, I thought your friend would be here?"

And she said "oh, she wants me to come to her house."

And my thought was

"HUH?????   Does she know you've had a stroke?"   "Does she know your loser sister is the one in charge of you?"   Does she have any idea what we look like right now?"

And I secretly said a prayer that she lived next door and I could just wheel her over there.

But, no such luck.  This little visit was going to require a car ride.

So,  I grabbed my keys and went out and put all of my work stuff in the back seat and opened the car door and went in to get her.

IT LITERALLY TOOK ME 20 MINUTES TO GET HER INTO THE CAR.  One painfully agonizing step after another....  slowly, methodically planning each one....  taking time to let her brain tell her feet how to move....  And she was sweaty and I was sweaty and more than that I was terrified and I was internally falling apart at the scariness of making one wrong move and really hurting her.  OR possibly twisting incorrectly and re-injuring myself.   And after I finally got her into the car,  I had to run back and shut the front door and put our lunch away.

I drove as carefully as I could up to the friends house.  And of course, her driveway was on a hill.
And getting this poor girl out of the car on a hill was probably the hardest thing I've ever done.  And IT FREAKIN' TOOK ME 10 MINUTES TO GET HER UP TO THE FRIEND'S FRONT DOOR.  And I was exhausted.  And I don't even want to think of how Kori felt.
 I knocked on the door.  And the friend answered and said

"I am so sorry, but I don't have time to do a session on you today."
"I'm so sorry.   I texted you, but I guess you didn't get it"

Well.......  no........  we.........  didn't........

because we were struggling to get her to the bathroom before she had an accident and then she struggled to go to the bathroom because she only has the use of ONE SIDE OF HER BODY  and the simplest of tasks for you and me are mind blowingly,  off the charts difficult for her and then we were struggling to get to the car and in the midst of me having a (for reals) near nervous breakdown,  I completely forgot to check her phone that I left sitting on the couch for a possible cancelation text.

I just stood there.... staring at her in disbelief.  I couldn't believe the words I was hearing.   And then I turned and looked at my sister.  And I looked at her bald head and her outrageously cruel scar and I looked at her arms that were trembling from exhaustion and she was squeezing my arm so hard because she was trying not to fall over.  And in a timid and sweet voice she said...

"I'm sorry, I didn't get it.  That's okay.  Thank you"

And we turned around and started on our journey back to the car.

And it took EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH IN MY ENTIRE BODY to hold in my tears.  I wanted to sit down on the driveway and sob my heart out.  My heart was absolutely bursting,  so much so, that I was in physical pain in my chest.  I have never in my life been so heartbroken.  And I have gone through a divorce.  NEVER IN MY LIFE HAD I EVER FELT THIS MUCH SADNESS.

I haven't witnessed anyone in my life work that hard.  I have been to 8 marathons and I know that those runners couldn't possibly have exerted half as much strength as my sister just put out.  And the walk DOWN the driveway and into the car was the worst part.  And I was wrenching inside.   I absolutely thought I'd die trying to contain myself.   I couldn't let her see me fall apart.  But, that is what I wanted to do....  I wanted to fall apart.  And yell and scream and hit things.....  or people.

Damn it!

I took her back home.   Another 20 minutes until we got to the couch.  She was absolutely spent.  I was physically exhausted but I was emotionally wrecked.  And I don't think I will recover from this for a very long time.

It's one thing to hear reports from my parents about how she is doing....  it's another to witness it right before your own eyes.  I cannot believe how hard she works to do the things that we do in seconds.  There isn't any movement that is easy for her.  But, I assure you walking from her house to the car is equivalent to running a marathon, my friends.

I was able to control myself until Gracie got home, but the second she walked in the door, I ran out and drove to the end of the street and had a come apart in the church parking lot.

And my life has been forever changed.

I don't have the words to articulate the change, but I am changed.   And my love and adoration for her grew one billion times and the only thing that helps me from just wanting to sit in the corner curled up in a ball rocking back and forth is knowing that our Heavenly Father loves us.  And will help us get through this.  And that we are a strong family.  And we love and support each other.

I am happy to report that Kori was not at all upset like I was.
I am happy to report that I didn't do any damage to her on my shift, that I know of anyway.
I am happy to report that I had an absolutely wonderful day with her that I will never forget.
I am happy to report that I learned some very valuable lessons and I am wiser and far more compassionate today than I was yesterday.


I am disappointed that Dr. Phil was unable to fix me.  (because to my dismay, I am even more of a train wreck today than I was yesterday....sigh)
I am disappointed that I probably over-reacted to a situation....  but maybe not...  but maybe.
I'm disappointed that I didn't take any pictures of us.....  laughing.
I am disappointed that I said a lot of swear words in the church parking lot

I am blessed that I got to spend a day with her.
I am blessed that I got to hear her laugh
I am blessed that I get to call her my sister
I am blessed that I got to experience something that will make me better

Thanks for a good day.

A Thank You Letter From Russ

Let me just start out by saying I have never prayed for patience, understanding, or any other trial to make me a better husband, father or son.   I figure those will come on their own without asking!!

Well, last week Garrett drove Kori’s Mazda to work.  On his way home he called me and said “Dad, I blew a tire and now the car won’t start!”  If you know anything about cars (not saying I do) you realize those two things don’t really go together in diagnosing a car issue on the phone.  So I headed out to rescue him.  Well he was right.  The front tire had blown while he was going 70 mph on the freeway.  The tire proceeded to tear up the shroud inside the fender well.  That just so happens to be where all the wiring comes from the firewall to the fuse box and the engine.  The loose tire tread broke some of the wiring and now the car wouldn’t start.  Well that's ok, I thought we still have one more car so I can take my time fixing it.  The next day, Garrett says, “Hey Dad the Taurus won’t start.”  I worked on it but I couldn't get it figured out.  Ok, I thought, I’ll just drive him to work until I fix that too.  Later that night I went out to the garage and noticed the floor was wet.  The water heater broke and flooded the garage.  Really!!  Honestly what could be next.    No, I really didn’t want to know!!

Well what was next?  School fees!  Nearly $800 for three kids!  As a Dad I thought how do I do this!

Once again a miracle came to help our family in our time of need with Kuts for Kori.  I really don’t know how to thank everyone!  I don’t know everyone to thank!  And by naming people I fear leaving someone out and offending them.  What I do know is a lot of selfless people put a lot of time, effort and money into helping our family and I will be forever grateful.  Grateful for the kind words, the encouragement and the financial help.   We have been blessed with so many miracles since this has happened and those miracles have nearly always come in the form of another person.  There are great people in this world.

I may not have prayed for trials, but they have come and lessons have been learned.   I’ve learned that accepting service can be harder than giving service.  I’ve learned from you how to better provide service so I can pay it forward someday.  I hope I am a better man for these trials.  I hope our family is better for them. I’m grateful for the miracles and the increase in faith that have come in the form of so many of you.  The care, concern and service to our family has been not only awe-inspiring but humbling to say the least.

THANK YOU!!

Update....

Kori completed speech therapy on Monday.

Her therapist said her cognitive skills had not diminished at all during her treatment.  

She is also starting to talk quite a bit more and is starting to act like herself more everyday.

She wasn't too fond of Speech Therapy anyway,

so this is good news.

Every year our family goes up to Pine Valley in August 

This year was no different.

We are glad that Kori is willing to venture out and keep our family traditions alive.

It was beautiful up there and the weather was perfect

 We ate a ton of food

and celebrated a birthday

And played charades...

We always make Mom and Dad be on a team together because it is the funniest thing EVER.

One team member has the word and they hold it up to their forehead

and their partner has to act it out for them to guess...

And as luck would have it...

Mom held up the word "pole dancer"

and Dad acted it out

and the rest of us fell on the ground laughing

My dad pole dancing is by far the greatest thing I have ever witnessed in my life

He was so focused and serious about it too.

I hope I NEVER get that image out of my head. 

It will help if I am ever having a bad day.

Then on Tuesday, Russ was nice enough to come over to our ward and teach the priests about Fly Fishing.  He is so knowledgable and interesting when he talks about his passion.

He has been all over the world and when I say all over the world I really mean it.

It was so nice of him to take time away from his family who really needs him, to come over and teach a class.  Thanks Russ.   

Thank you is NOT enough

The DAY finally arrived.

At 9:00 am

Raleigh and I met at Mom and Dad's.

We rolled up the posters that we had made the night before.

Dad and Raleigh set out to put the posters up.

Mom and I went over and picked up the balloons and went behind them to attach the balloons to the set up posters.  

When we got to Solutions,  Jan,  had a professional sign ready to be hung up

She also had a DJ and a massage therapist

And there were 100 people in her lobby.

Mom and I walked in and burst into tears and had to walk right out so we didn't make spectacles of ourselves.

We were overwhelmed by the turn out from the people in Kori's ward,

from the moms of the boys on Garrett's baseball team,

from the friends of the Hyde kids

and some complete strangers.

 When we got to Fanci Hair

We set up the sign right on the side of the road for all of the traffic driving by on the Boulevard.

Their parking lot was full and they had several people waiting to have their hair cut as well.

I was just hoping that 10 people would come

I never dreamed that hundreds of people would be there.

And there were hairdressers a plenty

 Carie and her sister, Cicely who have been our friends for years, planned and planned.
They called the radio stations and promoted the day all week.  They called the colleges and asked them to donate tips.  We are lucky to have good friends in our lives

Natalie, who worked so hard cutting hair all day and making our friends feel so welcome

Jan who planned a great event of her own and is such a good friend to the Hyde Family
and who has been a huge support in so many ways.

And little boys came

 And friends came

And cute girls got new do's

And Kori's niece, Allison,  donated 12 inches to Locks of Love 

in Kori's name

 And Mom took cupcakes to everyone

We are anxiously awaiting the grand total
we know for sure, it's in the thousands...


I know that we could never adequately thank all of the people who have spent so many hours

promoting the event and donating their time.  We had friends helping us on Facebook.  We had people donating services.  All of these talented hair dressers stood on their feet for what ended up being nearly 6 hours.  We had neighbors who just walked in and donated money.  We had various ward members from OUR wards, who don't even know Kori personally, come over and support our family.  It's not enough to simply say thank you,  I know.  

But...  Thank you!

Thank you for your kindness and your support.

AND LOVE

The Sign...

Kuts for Kori

is tomorrow

starting at 10:00 am

And we had the assignment of making the signs announcing the event at three locations.

It was so fun.

Everyone had a role.

Mom drew lines and told me where to start and end my letters

I tried my best to draw them

And Raleigh and my dad stood off to the side and practiced their "air" golf swings

until it was time to come over and glance at the poster and tell me that my letters were

too tall or too short or too fat

And make me all stressed.  

They're not the greatest posters in the world

I already know that.

But, they were made with love.

And hopefully, they will draw in tons of people who are just driving along

and see a freaking amazing poster announcing a haircutting fundraiser

and they won't be able to resist the urge to stop in and see what all the fuss is about.

At least that is my dream

At any rate...

We sure had fun

And we are so hopeful for a good turn out tomorrow.

Please stop in and visit

Lookin' Good...

Jan Faucett is a hairdresser here in town.  She owns a salon off of Sunset Blvd over by Albertsons.
It's called Solutions.  
She is one of the many wonderful people who will volunteer their time on Saturday to cut hair and raise money for Kori.  

As if she is not already selfless enough, she offered free haircuts to the entire Hyde Family today.

And man, don't they look good!!!

Thanks, Jan

There are so many people who are working tirelessly to put this fund raiser together.
It's so amazing.
I can't wait to take pictures of all of them and tell about how hard they've worked.

Kuts for Kori
Saturday, August 8th
10:00 - 2:00

Fanci Hair 374 W. St. George Blvd
Solutions Hair and Body 163 W Sunset Blvd
Hairitage Hair Academy  1487 Silicon Way  Ste A-3

I can do hard things

 Booker T. Washington said

"You measure the size of the accomplishment by the obstacles you have to overcome to reach your goals"

The Goal:  To be healthy and cancer free

The Obstacles:  STROKE (and subsequent paralysis), Radiation, Chemotherapy,  Anti-nausea Medication,  Blood Thinner Injections,  Physical Therapy,  Occupational Therapy,  Speech Therapy, Steriods and a whole lot of other super crappy stuff.

If we are measuring the level of accomplishment by the obstacles that have been overcome,

then this is by far the hugest accomplishment that I have ever witnessed, by someone that I know personally.   And I know that Kori is EXHAUSTED all the time right now.  And I know that she pretty much always feels lousy, but in a few weeks when the side effects have worn off and the struggle is nothing more than a memory, she will be able to sit back with her hands behind her head and say...  "Yep.... I just recently accomplished the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.   And I overcame it.  And I am stronger for it.   I am now empowered with a new level of compassion for others who will go behind me with their own battle.  I will know what to say and what to do.   I will forever be able to say that I know that I am capable of doing hard things.  I have NEVER been so scared in my life.   Nevertheless, I walked straight into the fire.  And came out stronger on the other side."

Today marked the end of her treatments

(For now anyway.  There will be some maintenance treatment but that will be later).
And we were so excited to help her celebrate. 

Mom took her over for her final radiation treatment

Dad bought a bouquet of balloons and he and I hid in the back of the building and awaited Mom's text that coast was clear to come in to the office.

We waited and waited

 And waited.   And Dad stared at his phone.  And breathed heavily.   And paced. 

And then he just gave up and called her on the phone

Russ and the kids were already there.

Minus Garrett, who got stuck at work.

 And it was so cute,  Dr.  Richards was almost more excited than we were.

He put us in the conference room and 

he kept coming in and checking on us. 

And one of the staff members brought us some candy bars to snack on while we waited

for the 12 minute treatment to conclude.

They finally came and got us and took us out to the lobby

 Her Certificate of Completion was waiting for her on the counter

 And Dr. Richards wheeled her out

And she was very emotional.

The mask on her lap is the mask she wore during Radiation Treatments (not sure what will happen to it now).

 This is Joe...  He was wonderful during all of her procedures

 Russ was so proud

 Dr. Richards presented her with her Certificate of Completion and a candy bar

to remind her to keep being sweet

 A group photo

 "Thank You Cupcakes" for the Staff of Gamma West

who are the best staff, but we hope that she will never see any of them in a Professional setting ever again.  No offense.  But, really....  

And then we wheeled her out to the car and Russ said

"Where do you want to go for lunch?"

And without hesitation, she said

"Honolulu Grill"

Atta Girl

Way to make a decision.

Congratulations Kori

You did it.

P.S.  Please don't forget about Kuts for Kori this Saturday, August 8, 2015 from 10:00 - 2:00 p.m. at
Fanci Hair
Solutions Hair and Body
Hairitage Hair Academy

We appreciate your love and support!!